How often do we go through our day with blinders on. Surviving by going through the motions. It takes something out of the ordinary to jog us into wakefulness. Often, those 'somethings' come in good, bad or ugly form.
Today I was aware. I had one of those days where I was focused and events turned out as expected, smooth even. Work that I handed in came back with positive comments. Conversations that I had with other moms were engaging and I was able to reconnect again. I was on my game during volleyball, getting all of my serves over the net and my hits found the back corner.
But today I also witnessed three other events: one good, one bad, and one ugly.
Good events seem to come at unpredictable moments. A random email with important (but good!) news. Bumping into a good friend while shopping. A random act of kindness by a complete stranger. Sam, one of my volleyball friends, a hot mama who just earned herself a Harley, was in England this past summer. While at the Writers Festival she found a misplaced cell phone. It wasn't security coded. She scrolled through the contacts list finding the single word, "Mom." Calling it, she spoke to a perfectly wonderful woman who was thrilled to hear that a Canadian had found her daughters phone. An hour-long train ride later, Sam returned the phone to the mother who would never forget the kindness of a complete stranger.
Bad events can be unpredictable, but they often build up over time. One can almost sense when a bad event is about to happen. Think back to a time when you were face-to-face with a bad event. Remember your thought processes. Didn't you say, "You know, I knew something like this was going to happen, I could just feel it." Looking back over the day and the week there were moments that were bad but none unsurmountable. The worst events are those stories I read and hear about in the news. There is an overload of negative there. I avoided a bad event today when I was cruising at the speed limit and a car crossed in front of me. If I hadn't been paying attention I would have crashed into the passenger side. I had time to brake and even then narrowly missed him. My bad event had a happy ending.
The ugly moments are the shockers. The moments that make you want to run to your friends and ask them, "What just happened?" They are confusing and often leave witnesses dumbfounded and seeking answers. I had an ugly moment today. As we do after every game in our league, the teams shake hands (or at least hand tap). It's a common courtesy extended by teams and individuals the world over. It's a gesture of thanks for sharing in the sport. Today I witnessed a move not yet seen in all of my years on the court. A member of the opposing team clearly and deftly raised her hand above and away from one of my teammates' own to avoid shaking with her. It was a provocation as there had been no encounters or bad exchanges during the game. We did win, and we had great energy doing it. We were supportive of one another when a mistake was made. We did not acknowledge the faults of the other team and we encouraged back and forth play (who wants to play a one-sided game, anyway?). It was a close first match, a less-close second, and another close third. Was it just poor sportsmanship? Unfortunately, unless that player comes forward we may never know. It hurt my teammate and will probably be on her mind until she can reason it out.
I'm putting the question out to you: Avoiding a hand-shake is certainly an unsportsmanlike behaviour, but is it tolerable? Might it just be that one players' way of dealing with a loss, and taking it out on one of our players? Might it have been an oversight, she just didn't see the hand? What do you think? Do you have a story of unsportsmanlike conduct? Share it with me.
